Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Dance Me to The End of Love

First of all, can I just say I have no idea what happened to my layout that cuts the right edge off all these videos. Not sure how to fix it or why it seemed to just change one day. So sorry about that.

I can't put into words how mesmerized I was by The Civil Wars show. I want to be in a room with them and just have them play and sing and never stop. Ever. I mean, maybe for sips of water and whiskey or to share little anecdotes, but that's it. I remember feeling this way about Glen and Mar.

Their chemistry is the stuff that envy is made of. Maybe I just love being in the same place as talented people in love singing about being in love. Or not being in love anymore. Or wanting to one day be in love. Again. Or still.

That's right. They use the word "darlin'." No need to win me over anymore, The Civil Wars...I'm already sold.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Nants Ingonyama Bagithi Baba

It's happening.

When I decided to double dip, I knew I would be sacrificing things like sleep and a social life during the week, but I'm also reaping some mad benefits.

Over Thanksgiving break, I went to Kauai. On a last minute fare. Bought my ticket Monday night, left Wednesday, and came back Sunday. It was dreamy. Sure it took me a day to decompress and be still, but once I got to that place...whoa. I read a whole book by the time I came home. Magical. I'm seriously thinking of going back for my bday. I've got a friend who has parents with a condo. I'm basically one degree away from Hawaii.

To be in a place in my life that allows me to do such spontaneous things is thrilling. There are things I desire, but in the meantime, I will enjoy everything my current lifestyle has to offer.

Which brings me to Africa...or should I say, will...

It's been on my radar for a while, but I'm finally jumping in. And I'm super excited. I'll be volunteering for a bit and then traveling for a bit. I'll be playing with lil bits at an orphanage in South Africa. I'll try really hard to not fall in love with every single face, as I hear it's nearly impossible to bring them home in your carry-on luggage.

I'll be less resistant to falling for a Doctor Without Borders.

Speaking of movies, I've recently seen:

The Town: What can I say, I'm a fan of Ben Affleck the director. Throw in Rebecca Hall and Jon Hamm and sign my thumbs up!
Black Swan: I'm so polarized. I'm cool with Natalie being nominated, and maybe even winning. And I really liked parts of it, but I also was really not into other parts of it. That's how I am with Darren Aronofsky, tho.
The King's Speech: I liked this. In the way that I often enjoy true stories played out brilliantly thanks to people like Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush.

Oh and that book I read Thanksgiving week? The Help. LOVED. LOVED. LOVED.
Currently on my nightstand: "Cassette From My Ex: Stories and Soundtracks of Lost Loves"...This collection of vignettes is the perfect bedside read. You read a few, think about music, turn off the lamp, enter into dreamland. I've now added Africa on a Shoestring (Southeast Asia on a Shoestring was my Bible during that trip)...and a book on Southern Africa...and I've pulled out my copy of 1,000 Places to See Before You Die...don't wanna miss anything big!

Wow. Watching Paul McCartney on Jimmy Fallon. Talking and now singing about John Lennon. Are those tears Jimmy has in his eyes? Really looking forward to the Paul Squared SNL this weekend. And tomorrow night I have the Aimee Mann Holiday Show. I've been in LA five Christmas seasons, and I've seen this show at least three of those years.

As for Christmas this year, I'll be heading back to the Lou for just under a week and then heading down to Austin for NYE with friends. I'm pretty sure that's the only way to follow up last year's Las Vegas Strip extravaganza. This year went by so very fast. The world spins madly on.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Baby It's Cold Outside

Another winter in LA
Another apartment without heat

I've been here
I know this dance
The snuggie/chenille/gnome quilt combo

Curled up on the couch
Because that's where the tv is
And the music is
And the internet is

In the bedroom
there's the duvet
And the books
But you can't turn pages with gloves on
I've tried

Hard wood floors
Like a slap in the face
For the feet

No longer snoozing for sleep
But to avoid leaving the cocoon.

Footie pajamas seem perfect
Until it's time to pee.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Fighting Dragons

So I'm still listening to The Civil Wars, and I'm excited to say I'll be seeing them play at my favorite local venue soon, but they're not the only music keeping me entertained.

Taylor Swift. Speak Now. It's the only thing I listen to in my car. And I listen to it REALLY loud. Weather permitting, with windows/sunroof open. Life is universal and has me relating to a 20 year old who has a wonderful way with words. I don't care what people say, I know I'm not the only one, and I've converted at least one person.

Joshua Radin. The Rock and The Tide. Great hiking music. Great anything music. Give me road to ride on and I'll come and see you in concert.

Mumford & Sons. So bummed I missed them when they played a sold out show here a few weeks ago. Because I super enjoy the way their music fills the air of my lil bungalow while I attempt to task it up in the mornings or on my days off.

Movies. I don't see nearly the number I once did. Long gone are the days of 6 screening weeks. But I have seen some good ones recently.

Mother and Child. I was lucky enough to have a friend with a screener as I somehow missed this in theaters. I liked it. The movie stars Annette Bening, Naomi Watts, and Kerry Washington, and follows their respective stories of adoption. Great performances and it ended with a Lucy Schwartz song...which is never a bad thing. Six months ago I would have had a very different perspective, but I'm glad that I waited. So I guess "missing" the movie in theaters was a blessing in disguise.

Blue Valentine. If you're my facebook friend, you know I loved it. It's exactly the reason I love independent film. The music. The acting. The story. The heart. I'm so afraid of overselling this movie that I don't feel like I can keep talking about it.

127 Hours. Impressive. James Franco. Aron Ralston. I still say I would have banged my head really hard against a rock if I were to ever find myself in the same situation. The strength and heart Aron exhibited in that astonishing and heroic moment is brought to life with beauty and talent. Danny Boyle knows what he's doing, but James Franco isn't overshadowed by the filmmaking...Dare I use the word "brilliant"... And you know what else? It made me wanna go on a hike. We've got a beautiful country and the scenery reminded me of Red Rock and Valley of Fire hikes. Rock scrambling. Good times.

I'm super excited to see Morning Glory. I love Rachel McAdams and I've worked in a newsroom. Win win, right?

On my nightstand (which is actually an antique child's desk, but still...):

A Gate at the Stairs: Lorrie Moore. I'm not in a book club, but my neighbor is. One day when I maybe only have one job and more free time, I'll be able to be in one again too...Until then, I'll read the books that other book clubs talk about...

I'm about 3/4 in...and have enjoyed it. It's been pretty quick but not super chick lit...which is a pretty perfect kind of book to read in bed.

Monday, November 1, 2010


October - aka the second sh*ttiest month of 2010 so far - is over!!
November is here, it's sunny and I'm about to cuddle a newborn!
And I'm gonna drive with my windows down and sunroof open and grab some sammies from a neighborhood shop!

I'm in super high spirits, which I feel I have to mention before I post the link to the song I've been listening to all morning.

It's heartbreakingly awesome and duet perfection. And Good GOD the video is crazy beautiful. I want to be them and live in that house.

The Civil Wars. New favorite.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Are We There Yet?

One day I'm going to own an Airstream...but before that day I'll have to have a truck to pull it and a house where I can park it.

But in the meantime, doesn't it look heavenly?

Dream fantasy would be to have the Airstream and travel around the states. And safety pin a baby's clothes all cool while my as-yet-to-be-met guy graffitis all his toys. But that's another song...

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Fabric Of Our Lives

I know, I know. I'm never on here. So where do I get off dropping by now...well here I am, so in the words of Taylor from Kid Nation, (that awesome show that will never be done again) "Deal with it!"

Something's in retrograde. I get it. I get it. But it sucks. And I'm over it. So get in grade. Or whatever you have to do. Because this has got to stop.

Basically I'm here because I watched Brothers & Sisters for the first time tonight, and Sally Field said some amazing things, and I don't know where else to quote her. So heregoes.

"You have to give up the life you've planned to find the life that's waiting for you."

"Unacknowledged feelings are like a drunken cousin at a family reunion. They never shut up so you can hear anyone else."

1. I don't wanna be that cousin.
2. Thanks Sally. And writers.

That is all.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Not Like The Movies

I could call this "Things I Hate" a la Daniel Tosh...but I'm not going to. I'm instead going to call it pet peeves. Hate's a strong word, and truth be told, I've now been driven home in a Rover and partially paid for one for an African village so I feel like an imposter to say I hate them. That being said...

(in no particular order)

1. Rovers. Land or Range. There's no need for them on the streets of any city. They're for villages. Like in Africa. For use in transporting things and people. I know of nothing more pretentious.

2. Wide-ruled paper.

3. Procrastination. My favorite frenemy. I've got sh*t to do.

4. Icing//Lotion//Sour cream.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I will likely never like any of those things.

5. Jersey Shore. I don't get it. I don't wanna get it.

6. The inability to Hipstamatic or play Words With Friends on my blackberry. This item could also be called #ihatebeingleftout but I very much enjoy both of those Iphone apps. Luckily I have friends that share.

7. PMS. Involuntary, unavoidable, and inescapable bad mood. I will use the word HATE here. Anybody wanna guess the inspiration of today's blog?

8. I feel like I used to be able to shave my legs every other day. That's no longer possible. Could THAT be possible? I feel like I have to shave every day or they're not perfectly smooth. Annoying. Should I devote some of my savings to laser treatments on my legs? South Africa or Australia would both be more fun if I never had to shave, right?

9. Cats. I won't ever kill them or anything. I just don't feel the need for them in my life. I prefer the wild neighborhood skunks (as long as they don't spray me) to my neighbor's mostly-outdoor cats who are convinced they rule our little region.

10. Lazy lazyness. By this I mean lazy about stupid things. Like hooking my air conditioner to the window. D-U-M-B. Just do it already. (This is what I tell myself while I'm doing something else but way less important, like watching multiple episodes of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant."). I'm gonna put it out there now that I will hook it up with 2 weeks of the end of heat. Rendering several hundred dollars of money not well spent.

Ok. That's enough for now.

Things I'm loving.

1. being surprised with phone pix of my nephews and nieces.
2. getting texts from my nieces and nephews.
3. good music. right now. Pandora.
4. great friends.
5. beach days.
6. opportunity.
7. inside jokes.
8. neighborhood walks.
9. thinking about traveling.
10. writing again. wheels in motion.

I'm ticketed for Vampire Weekend/Beach House and Ray LaMontagne/David Gray. I'm super excited for both. My evening job has hampered my concert habit, but I'm gonna give it a go for these two shows. I'll sleep when I'm dead. I need some great live music like whoa.

I haven't seen a movie since Inception. Quite possibly because I don't wanna erase that as my last cinematic experience (Jon Hamm, remember?). That being said I have quite a few I wanna see...

Random ending:

I'm notorious for being horrible in a crisis. Mostly because I tell people I am. I mean, why have people thinking they'll be in good hands? Anyway, this feature makes preparing for an earthquake seem doable. That being said, I've already mentioned procrastination and I'm thinking going with my original plan of hooking up with someone more prepared still stands as my best option. I mean, can you picture me using a wrench to turn off gas and water? Hahahahahahahaha....Good luck to me.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

If We Were Children, I Would Bake You a Mud Pie...

aka "How I spent 40 hours in New York City."

Friday afternoon/evening:

Arrived. Endured a two hour tour of the city courtesy Super Shuttle. Great moment on the subway when I had a realization of where I was and what I was doing and how happy I was about both things. Dinner with Emily at Peanut Butter & Co. Caught up and reminisced. Back to Hotel Harlem to do the same with Erin. Talked over wine as she packed for a wedding in the Hamptons. Dahling.

Sat morning:

Up. Times Square. Met up with Ellen for MORE catching up and reminiscing. And walking. And lunching. This time Ruby Foos. Signature drink. Next stop Trust. (The play starring Zach Braff.)

Three things made me sure I was loving this play:

1. The quote "I don't do brown." (Pee is yellow.)
2. The music. Specifically the scene change where "Maps" was playing and Braffers was mouthing the words. If you didn't know, that's one of my all-time favorite songs.
3. "Sh*t can them." Perhaps only two people in this world know why I enjoyed hearing that phrase on a stage so much. But I did.

The play was very well-written, and greatly acted. I kept calling it a movie because that's what it felt like. I wasn't ready for it to be over. I felt like I blinked and it was intermission time.

What surprised me most about this show, was that I was probably one of less than 10 people under the age of 50. And it was partially set in an S & M club. Old people are kinky. A couple of groups with younger teens left during the first act. I wasn't complaining tho.

Caught Zach on the sidewalk afterwards. Shook like I've never shook before. Worse than Oprah. Ridiculous. God knows if he would have invited me to grab a drink or bite to eat (like I was OF COURSE fantasizing about) I would have been a complete mess. Eating would have been out of the question for sure.

Off to TKTS to get tickets to a show Saturday night. I had 5 possibilities, which made making a decision once I got to the window super pressure-filled. In the end I went with A Little Night Music. Bernadette Peters and Elaine Stritch are Broadway dames. How could I go wrong?

I walked around some more, read at Bryant Park...ate dinner at a sitdown restaurant all by myself...and just meandered around the area until it was time for the show. The crowd erupted when Elaine took the stage and then again when Bernadette did. I really felt a part of something. Some weird Broadway lovers club or something. I enjoyed the story. The pinnacle for me tho was Bernadette singing "Send in the Clowns." Wow. And her facial expressions throughout the play. GREAT comedic timing. Elaine also definitely has a way with delivery.

Headed back to Harlem and hit the hay.


Early morning exit. Back to LA in time for a nap before work. This weekend was what weekends are all about! Carefree fun with friends combined with new adventures!!

My next two days off in a row isn't until the wkend of September 11th. That means I have a month to decide what I'll do then!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

My Date With Don Draper

I first met Jon Hamm in an elevator a couple/few years ago at LA Center Studios. We were both working there at the time. I at ReelzChannel (RIP), and he at a little show called Mad Men. A show that - at the time - I had never watched an episode of.

So there we were, just he and I. In an elevator. It sounded something like this:

Ok no it didn't. We were going up, not down. Here's what it really sounded like:

Me: Hi. (I'm guessing I started the convo, but I can't be sure.)
JH: Hi. Do you wanna go to the movies in a few years? (Of course he didn't say this, but I'm foreshadowing!) In reality, we made small talk and got to talking about what shows we were working on. I said Reelzchannel. He said Mad Men. (He was also wearing a suit.)
Me: Oh my gosh! The lead of that show is from St Louis and so am I! (As you can imagine I was excited to share this revelation...which made his reaction all the better.)
JH: (extending his hand) Hi, I'm Jon...Nice to meet you.
(Elevator doors open. It's his floor. What do I do??!!)
Me: (leaning my head/upper body out of the elevator yelling after him) Congrats on all your awards!!


I went home that night, immediately queued every single Mad Men episode I could get my hands on and caught up on the series in less than a week. That's not an exaggeration. I owed it to my fellow St. Louisan!!

I feel like I saw him another time between then and this summer. I feel like he had long hair and scruff. But I can't immediately remember where or when that was. So I guess nothing dramatic happened.

THEN. A couple/few weeks ago, I ventured over to a restaurant around the corner from my house. It's called Home. My house and the restaurant, coincidentally. This time we weren't alone. But if we were it would have probably sounded something like this:

I'm being dramatic. But you get the picture. I was with a group of friends. He was with his lady of like 10 years. (You know, the cute endearing one from Notes From the Underbelly? She also played one of Jack Bauer's cohorts on 24.) So there was her, and presumably their dog, and a trio of young girls I pegged as sisters or nieces or something...Long story short the only exchange that day may have been a glance.

So TODAY. I've been wanting to see Inception, but with my work schedule, fitting in movies can be difficult. I've only got a certain amount of free time. I was going to see it yesterday, but then I hung out with friends instead, so I pushed it off to today. I went to brunch and then hemmed and hawed about it. Did I really wanna see it? Yes I did my neighbor said. So I went. It was a 1:30 on a Tuesday. Movies are only $6.50 @ 1:30 on a Tuesday. I was stoked. That's less than half what I usually pay to see a movie in LA.

Ok, so I walk into the theater. It's dim in there. I prefer to sit toward the back, exactly in the middle. So that's the general direction I was heading. There was a row with ample leg room. (This particular theater removed rows of seating to provide that ample leg room and I thank them for that.) There was a gentleman sitting on the aisle. Then there were 3 empty seats. And then there was another gentleman. It just so happened that the middle empty seat was dead center. Divine!! Here's what it looked like:

back of theater

- - x - x - x | | - - -

(lots of seats)

front of theater

I'm the middle x.

The previews play. A preview for The Kids Are All Right. I saw it. I loved it. And I love this preview. I love Mark Ruffalo. I wanna clap at the end of the preview. Is that weird? I didn't clap. A couple more previews. I notice the guy between me and the aisle has checked his phone. I hope he's not one of THOSE I say to myself. But he puts the phone away. Then out of the corner of my eye, I realize he eats his popcorn out of the bag, like without getting his hands dirty. I quit paying attention to him. The movie is about to start and everyone has said, "Do not look away for a second!" "You have to watch every moment!"

Sometimes I get ancy in a movie and will adjust my position. I did that a few times. Stretched my legs out a few times.

(Sidenote: I'm REALLY all of the sudden paranoid about a phenomenon I've been told about called "secretary spread." Supposedly it's what happens to butts if you sit too long. Oh dear GOD in my night job do I sit a lot. So much that I'm seriously considering getting an elliptical in here. I don't want anything spreading. Ever.)

So back to the movie. I remember two parts where laughing happened. I won't spoil them here, but it was group laughing which I know, when the humorous moments are subtle, but everyone gets it.

Ok the movie's over. I hop up pretty immediately and follow the guy between me and the aisle out of the theater. We hit the sunlit area of the concession stand, and as he's putting on his sunglasses and confused about which way the men's restroom is, I see his face. It's Jon Hamm. The man I just fawned over Sunday night whilst watching his attempts to smooth talk a lady out of the cab and up the stairs to her door.

It wasn't only my top spinning, it was my HEAD spinning as I ducked into the ladies. I couldn't pee fast enough. I had to get out of there. I had to tell someone. EVERYONE. (Not everyone THERE mind you, everyone I know...duh!) Maybe we would come out of the bathrooms at the same time. What would happen then? I don't get nervous around celebrities! Why was this so exciting?? Why had I...How had I not noticed?? Does this movie induce dream states? If so, wouldn't it be ZB and not JH? I hope he doesn't think I only sat there because he was sitting there. Why is that lady looking at me like I didn't wash my hands? I JUST washed my hands! (And you think the things I say OUT LOUD sound like a scattered mess. Try being inside my head!)

Naturally, I had walked to the theater, so when I came out and didn't see JH anywhere, I went on my Mary way and booked it up the hill to mi casa so that I could burst into my neighbor's apt to tell her that "OMG I just saw a movie with Jon Hamm!" To which she replied, "See? See? You were supposed to go today!"

So the next time I see him, which, don't worry, won't be out in front of his house...I plan to ever so subtley hum this song:

I think he'll get it.

PS So I came into work and told my boss today's story. My boss knows Jon Hamm. I knew this already. My boss was like: "Why didn't you talk to him? I'm your connection. Just mention me." Then he asked, "Are you blogging about this? You should blog about this." And a little voice inside my head yelped, "Please don't encourage her and this behavior!" Just kidding. It's fun. Living in LA is fun. Living in Jon Hamm's neighborhood? It's just the icing.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Save the Date

Because I've just proposed to my heating pad.
I love nature's little surprises!!
It's confusing when you're hot temperature-wise yet require the use of a heating pad.

In other news, Jon Hamm was written on my Bachelorette cast list in invisible ink. That's clearly why you didn't see it there. I mean, why would his name not be among the others? He's my neighbor. We've had one on one convos before. He's funny as all get out and

In other other news, I randomly saw Elijah Wood the other day at work. I say randomly because I was standing there talking to a coworker when I felt someone looking at me so I looked over and there he was standing next to a tree smoking. I said "Oh, hi!" and then continued my convo. Elijah Wood is not on my Bachelorette cast list.

I'm excited to be hurriedly planning a 40 hour trip to NYC. 40 hours is crazy, I know, but it's what I do. I mean, remember when I flew to Ireland for like 4 days for a concert? These things happen and spice up life.

I've decided if I'm gonna be there, perhaps I should catch a Broadway show as well. (I'm going to see Trust, which is an off-Broadway play ZB is starring in.) I'm thinking Mary Poppins or Avenue Q. That being said, I haven't looked to see what's playing, so maybe something else will strike my fancy. Excited to see some familiar faces too.

Mondays and Tuesdays are my dayside days off. I'm in serious need of a sleep-in so the timing couldn't be better. As a matter of fact that always seems to happen. I get through the double days fine, but definitely end up tired. Sundays are my Fridays/Mondays. Wednesdays are my Thursdays/Mondays. It sounds confusing, but it works. Especially on pay day.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Love on the Box

There are several reasons why I will never go on The Bachelorette:

1. I'm not a whore.
2. I would never do anything on tv I wouldn't want my gma to see. (Let's face it, what would the show be without multiple makeouts, hot tub humpings, and fantasy suite overnighters?)
3. I can barely handle the drama and pressure of one relationship at a time.
4. I have a problem being myself on camera.
5. I would never want my overthinking and insecurities to be broadcast worldwide to millions.

That being said, I have an AWESOME idea for what my season of The Bachelorette would be. Wait for it...The CELEBRITY version. That's right. All 25 of my guys would be celebrities. My favorite male celebrities. How many times can I say celebrity? A lot...

So here's my list. I realize some of them are married. That's not my problem. This is a fantasy. I have also left some "insert heres" as I'd like a little element of surprise during the limo meet and greets.

Zach Braff
Taylor Kitsch (Riggins!!)
Seann William Scott
Ryan Gosling
Bradley Cooper
Andrew Bird
George Clooney
Chris Evans
John Cusack
Dave Salmoni (insert tiger growl here)
Blake Mycoskie (TOMS Shoes!)
Zach Galifianakis (pure entertainment value @ the house!)
Braylon Edwards
(maybe insert professional baseball player or another indie musician here)

Married schmarried:

Ben Folds
Dierks Bentley
Paul Rudd
Mark Ruffalo
Jason Bateman
Derek Luke

They're gay, but I'd love to have one on one dates with them anyway:

Anderson Cooper
Neil Patrick Harris

Gone, but not forgotten:

Jimmy Stewart
Cary Grant
Gregory Peck

I mean, seriously. Can you imagine this group of guys in one house? I'm picturing the last three walking around in black and white. It's pretty magical in my head. Basically I wanna be entertained. Make me laugh, play me get the picture. I feel like I'm probably leaving out someone I really like, but let's assume I mean for them to be one of the surprises.

PS Why did Braffers have to look so good last night on Jimmy Fallon?? He's making it super hard for me to not pay several hundred dollars to fly to NYC for 40 hours and see him in his Off-Broadway play.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Guess Who's Back...

I know! A new blog entry! I can hardly believe it myself.

Life as of late has been a rollercoaster, but it’s summer! And I’m about to be a new age! And I’ve decided that both occasions make wearing bras or pants obsolete! More bikini tops and tank tops, leggings and dresses!

"Rather than hold on to a broken dream I’ll just hold on to love…"

(I can’t take credit for the line, but I can fess up to having Alicia Keys’ “Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart” on repeat for a few days last week. And like a month last year, when the lyrics obviously made a lot more sense.)

But it’s June!

So I’m switching the song to Katy Perry “California Gurls” because I can. And because I love her nomatterwhatanyonesays.

Now the advice seeking part…Every guy I’ve ever dated I’ve known through someone. I mean, that’s how this thing usually goes, right? Well, lately, I’ve been considering other options…and I’m not talking the internet. Been there. Done that.

Which leaves me with chance encounters. Case in point. Today. Just now. At lunch with a friend. A brand new Prius pulls up. An attractive guy gets out, opens the back door to get his dog, and starts walking across the street. His loose scarf swaying in the wind, his tousled not-too-long hair not quite flopping, and his loose long sleeve button-down looking perfectly relaxed. The hipster de mes reves. It was like a mirage. Did I mention he was wearing aviators? Because he was.

I point him out to my friend (who confirmed his attractiveness), and assume aloud that a guy like that doesn’t just come into a place like this solo…he’s obviously meeting someone. He goes inside to order and returns. Still alone. The counter girl brings out his number and Diet Coke. Wait a second. Diet Coke? He’s obviously gay, right? My friend says maybe not. Maybe he’s a model or an actor. Neither of these things interest me so I poo poo the possibility.

Then we wonder what the next step is. (It should be mentioned here that said friend is happily married and no longer has to worry about these things.) And this is where the advice comes in. How do you pick up total strangers? Starting conversation I obviously get and can handle, but how do you translate that into a date? I’m on the brink of 30 + 2, shouldn’t I know these things by now?

Of course our first idea was to use the dog. But the dog abandoned me by sitting on the opposite side of his table from the walkway I would use to pass them by. I contemplated just sitting down at the table with him and being like “So how does this work, I sit down, say something witty, and we spend the rest of the afternoon wondering how we’ve lasted this long without each other’s company?”

Now THAT would be ballsy. But SO risky. And remember, I’m not wearing a bra or pants so that’s quite a first impression to make.

In the end, we left without saying a word. Chickens.

But a similar thing happened over the wkend while camping in Big Bear. On a liquor run at the grocery store, my slightly inebriated friend picked up a traveling journalist for me. I met up with them in line and she had him primed for me. She told him that I, too was a journalist…we shared some chit chat about romantic things like the oil slick that will soon surely float into the Atlantic Ocean and up the Mississippi River. He, too, was tousled, more rugged than hipster, but sometimes I go that way. Think a slightly-less attractive, straight, but work-ethically-similar version of Anderson Cooper.

And I’m not sure how that conversation ended. There was a likely-presumed-empty invite to the campsite, there was knowledge that he was staying at a hotel in town for the night…but I didn’t bite the bullet. And that’s where I fail, I guess. That’s the step I don’t take.

I can flirt, and enjoy doing so. A lot. Especially via text. I just need help with the follow through part. Let’s get serious, none of this info is shocking.

In other news, I have no movie or music reviews to post here. I haven’t seen a movie in WAY too long. As far as music, I’ve been listening to a lot of depressingly awesome stuff on Pandora…And I just realized that Martie and Emily (the sisters portion of the Dixie Chicks) released the debut album under their new group: Courtyard Hounds. So I’m downloading that as we speak to check that out.

Oh and yeah, how about that earlier part where I mentioned camping? I loved it. I mean except for the freezing part the first night. I love being able to get out of the city so easily. To sit around a fire chit-chatting with new friends. Under a blanket of stars that looks impossibly real. Unlike my last camping experience on the Colorado River, this place had bathrooms! What luxury!

There is something to be said for fresh air and no distractions or obligations. No schedules. For someone who now watches copious amounts of tv on a nightly basis for occupational reasons, I didn’t even miss it. It was refreshing to know that my healthy relationship with the boob tube is still in full effect.

There’s also something to be said for going camping with a group of people who bring things like brie. I heart brie.

We vowed to camp more this summer. To explore beach camping, which again, is SO accessible. We walked around and scoped out others campsites. We daydreamed over tents with doors and Airstream trailers. Yes please!!

In the words of Regina Spektor, “Let’s get a silver bullet trailer, and have a baby boy. I’ll safety pin his clothes all cool and you’ll graffiti up his toys.”

Ooh speaking of! My gma gave me her sewing machine, and there’s a place down the street called Home Ec that has sewing classes. I super sucked at Home Ec the first time around, so I really feel like it’s time to redeem myself.

Until next time…someone teach me how to pick up boys. Kthxbye. I mean, it’s ok for me to not wait for them to pick me up, right?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I Miss Paris and Other Thinks I Am Thinking

When I say miss Paris, I mean I've been looking at my pictures and remembering the good times and trying to figure out when I can go back and who I can beg to go with me. Because altho I love Paris, I love it BETTER when I'm not there alone.

Speaking of...(in a roundabout way) I am back on the hunt for what will be like my 7th Netflix address in Los Angeles, I've discovered something. My list for what I'm looking for in an apartment has grown to a length longer than my list of desires in a potential manfriend.


1. offstreet parking.
2. laundry (onsite if not in the unit)
3. hardwood floors (preferably dark)
4. upper floor (read as nobody living above me)
5. strongly prefer my own entrance to the outside. no more stinky hallways.
6. character
7. less than $1500 a month (yes I realize how disgusting this number is to anyone not living in LA or NYC)
8. I have a specific neighborhood in mind, a 2 mile radius that I will only go outside of in the case that I find THE ONE in one of my other 3 possible, but slightly less desirable neighborhoods.
9. gas stove
10. finally, I know it's superficial, but I really hate doors on a shower/tub combo.

The other thing is that in order for me to feel good about an apartment, I have to take some time with it and soak it up and (hopefully) get that "this is it!" feeling. If not immediately upon entry, definitely after sitting on the floor of the living room for a few minutes post walk through. Sometimes I have to bring a friend in for a second opinion or call my dad and describe everything in detail until he (or the friend) gives me the push I need to sign that little piece of paper. Leases...ugh. I mean, you have to be sure about these things. You're gonna LIVE there.

I can only imagine what it's going to be like when the special magical time arrives that I encounter my first house hunt. Like for a real house where a mortgage is involved. God bless that real estate agent in advance.

PS I know it sounds like I'm asking for a lot, but my last apartment had all of those things. Unfortunately it also had a lot of drafty windows and no heat. But it looked good.

So the list of qualities in a manfriend:

1. Make me laugh.
2. Be intellectually stimulating.
3. Be creative.
4. Love God.
5. Like kids.
6. Love me. In a way that would make it impossible for you to look me in the face and lie.

That about covers it. I could throw in things like "nice smile," "good arms," and "preferably able to play more than one musical instrument," and that would still not be as many things as I'm looking for in an apartment.

Now if only I could find an online service that somehow combines searching for available men and vacant apartments, I'd be set. Well I mean besides craigslist...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Open Letter to Alberto S.

Hey Alberto.
It's me.

The real person behind the number you've been giving to all your creditors.
It seems you've really got yourself into a financial pickle.
The people from Kentucky call at least twice a day.
New Jersey also sends its love, as does Ohio and a couple other places.
I mean how many different debt sources can one person have?

I'm glad it's just my phone number and not my entire identity.
I truly am.
But all the calls are getting old.
And when I tell them I don't know you, I can hear the doubt in their voice.
Like they think I'm hiding you or something.

I think it's time you take responsibility for your life. And your finances.
Grow up already.
And get your own phone number.



2010 is the Year of The Tiger

This blog is not a tiger.

I mentally wrote a blog about how awesome vacations are. Those of you with mind reading capabilities know how awesome that blog is.

You know what law I love? The one in Oregon that prevents me from pumping my own gas. Yeah it's lazy, but you know what? It's also AMAZING.

Skiing is hard. So hard that we decided it doesn't make sense that rich people enjoy doing it so much. All of the prep and rentals and dressing and getting those ski boots on and off. I mean, I felt like I was birthing a child. Then you throw a slick mountain edged with trees into the mix? If I was rich, I would pay someone to ski and describe it in detail while holding a fan in my face so I could get the sensation. Then I would push that person down and say "Wait til your calves wake up tomorrow" as I walked away carefully sipping my piping hot (but not scalding) vanilla chai.

I mean, I can't wait to do it again.
In all honesty, I wish I could just be awesome at it already.
When at the beginning of the class I picked up random skills quickly, I told my ski instructor that Picabo Street was my sister. Unfortunately it was quickly exposed that my real sisters don't have the athletic ability of a Picabo pinkie. Well, Melody did some hurdles in high school, but that does not a Jackie Joyner Kersee make. It's like my entire immediate family was absent the day God was handing out any talent related to sports. And Matthew, winning wrestling matches by forfeiture because other schools didn't have someone small enough in the featherweight category does not count.

As a Katy Perry fan, I have a problem waking up to her doing Proactive commercials. Avril Lavigne, Jessica Simpson and Kelly Clarkson do Proactive commercials. I feel like KP is totes on another level. I simultaneously feel like if KP is using it, then I should too, because, I mean, look at her. My disappointment in her commercial choice dissipated a lil bit when KBM informed me stars get a million dollars to do it, and even Diddy's done it. Somehow that made it better.

I feel like I should check in with her twitter now. I've been so disconnected. Ok, she seems to be fine. And Taylor Swift is really enjoying Japan.

I just remembered something else to say here but now I forgot. I just looked at flights to Paris next week. Because a - it's Paris. And b - Swell Season is performing. But while I'm spontaneous, I like to think I err on the side of caution when it comes to complete financial irresponsibility, so I'm gonna hold off...

Having said that, I'm thinking about biting the (in this case v yummy) bullet and really spending some cash on a bed. I got rid of my hand me down version, which means on that day sometime soon when I open the pod, there won't be a bed in there. I've joked about wanting a Four Seasons mattress instead of an engagement ring, but now a part of me is v tempted at not waiting for some dude to buy one for me. I want an awesome bed like everyone talks about: "oh I can't wait to get home to my own bed!" A bed like that requires commitment and permanence tho, not two of my strongest personality traits. So we shall see.

Until then, I'm living on borrowed ground and counting my blessings. My taxes are done (and I came out on top), I'm sort of employed, I'm gonna see Peter Gabriel live in concert with a 52 piece's a good time to be MAB. Laissez les bonnes temps roulez. (Tiger, I'm talking to you.)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Things I Like A Whole Lot Today

It's 2010.
Maybe I'll blog more this year.
I'm on Day 2 of no red meat or poultry. So far so good.
I also ran yesterday. Or jogged. Whatever it was, it wasn't fun.
Boot camp starts in a week. I hope the tops of my thighs have forgiven me by then.

So heregoes.
Happy things.

1. I got to see not one but TWO fun-loving couples I know while they were in town. Being off on a wkend has its perks!!

2. While waiting at the Bellagio valet, the old man next to me answered his Iphone. There's just something about an octogenarian on an Iphone that I found awesome.

3. Being outside without a jacket on - On January 2nd.

It's my goal to pop in here with positive thoughts and things every now and again.
Cross your fingers.