Sunday, August 22, 2010

Not Like The Movies

I could call this "Things I Hate" a la Daniel Tosh...but I'm not going to. I'm instead going to call it pet peeves. Hate's a strong word, and truth be told, I've now been driven home in a Rover and partially paid for one for an African village so I feel like an imposter to say I hate them. That being said...

(in no particular order)

1. Rovers. Land or Range. There's no need for them on the streets of any city. They're for villages. Like in Africa. For use in transporting things and people. I know of nothing more pretentious.

2. Wide-ruled paper.

3. Procrastination. My favorite frenemy. I've got sh*t to do.

4. Icing//Lotion//Sour cream.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I will likely never like any of those things.

5. Jersey Shore. I don't get it. I don't wanna get it.

6. The inability to Hipstamatic or play Words With Friends on my blackberry. This item could also be called #ihatebeingleftout but I very much enjoy both of those Iphone apps. Luckily I have friends that share.

7. PMS. Involuntary, unavoidable, and inescapable bad mood. I will use the word HATE here. Anybody wanna guess the inspiration of today's blog?

8. I feel like I used to be able to shave my legs every other day. That's no longer possible. Could THAT be possible? I feel like I have to shave every day or they're not perfectly smooth. Annoying. Should I devote some of my savings to laser treatments on my legs? South Africa or Australia would both be more fun if I never had to shave, right?

9. Cats. I won't ever kill them or anything. I just don't feel the need for them in my life. I prefer the wild neighborhood skunks (as long as they don't spray me) to my neighbor's mostly-outdoor cats who are convinced they rule our little region.

10. Lazy lazyness. By this I mean lazy about stupid things. Like hooking my air conditioner to the window. D-U-M-B. Just do it already. (This is what I tell myself while I'm doing something else but way less important, like watching multiple episodes of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant."). I'm gonna put it out there now that I will hook it up with 2 weeks of the end of heat. Rendering several hundred dollars of money not well spent.

Ok. That's enough for now.

Things I'm loving.

1. being surprised with phone pix of my nephews and nieces.
2. getting texts from my nieces and nephews.
3. good music. right now. Pandora.
4. great friends.
5. beach days.
6. opportunity.
7. inside jokes.
8. neighborhood walks.
9. thinking about traveling.
10. writing again. wheels in motion.

I'm ticketed for Vampire Weekend/Beach House and Ray LaMontagne/David Gray. I'm super excited for both. My evening job has hampered my concert habit, but I'm gonna give it a go for these two shows. I'll sleep when I'm dead. I need some great live music like whoa.

I haven't seen a movie since Inception. Quite possibly because I don't wanna erase that as my last cinematic experience (Jon Hamm, remember?). That being said I have quite a few I wanna see...

Random ending:

I'm notorious for being horrible in a crisis. Mostly because I tell people I am. I mean, why have people thinking they'll be in good hands? Anyway, this feature makes preparing for an earthquake seem doable. That being said, I've already mentioned procrastination and laziness...so I'm thinking going with my original plan of hooking up with someone more prepared still stands as my best option. I mean, can you picture me using a wrench to turn off gas and water? Hahahahahahahaha....Good luck to me.

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