Greetings From Skunksville, USA

If you're a friend on Facebook, you may know that I've been struck down with what can only be described as the plague this week. You may think I'm being dramatic, and well, I guess since I'm still alive, it wasn't REALLY the plague, but I can't remember ever being so sick when it didn't involve a lot of quality time with the toilet. I spent two full days in bed and a third one on the couch and am finally starting to feel closer to fine.

I knew I was getting better when I took a look at myself in the mirror today and was horrified at the caterpillars crawling across my forehead. I'll take care of them tomorrow. Nothing like a good eyebrow wax to mark a recovery.

But first, this story. Or tale...

So I believe I've mentioned before the fact that skunks love my neighborhood. And how much one little guy in particular (aka Juan) loves my specific part of the neighborhood. As in my driveway, my front step, my welcome mat.

Don't get me wrong. Juan is freakin' adorable. We've watched him grow. Or her grow. I've never gotten close enough to tell the difference. We know Juan's coloring. We know Juan likes us. But we also know Juan doesn't realize what kind of havoc he could wreak (or reek!) on not only our actual persons but also our home.

You see, it's nothing to with inside and outside lights on, door open, tv on, and people talking to look over and see Juan chilling on the welcome mat...Yeah. Can't really walk away from the open door because I'm pretty sure the little dude would just waltz in and make himself at home.

So far he has only lifted his tail when FACING us, which would mean he wouldn't be technically spraying us, but still...nothing's an exact science...

Alright, so anyway, sorry if that is all old news, but it's only to tell you about what happened last night. Like I said I've been sick and I stepped outside to leave for my night job and my neighbor was on her step. Outside lights were on. We were talking. When all the sudden, she told me to look behind me. I didn't. I kept talking. Then - a little more forcefully - she told me to walk forward to her step..."right now"...That time I listened...once I got there, she told me to turn around...and there was Juan. Basically RIGHT behind where I was standing, as if he was walking up to me...Again he put his tail up, but he was facing us, and he didn't spray. Once he realized we were doing the stomping our feet and shaking our keys move so I could get in my car, he sauntered down the driveway and into the front yard.

Long story short, I need a screen door.