Psychic Friends Network

Let us not dwell on the fact that I haven't posted in four months, but yet enjoy today's entry.

In short, I've now solved the mystery of how some people could spend $2.99 a minute (or more) on a phone psychic.

On a recent trip to New York City, a friend and I stumbled across a psychic sitting on an array of blankets on the stairs of Union Square. Her name? Ursula. We think.

I'm at a point in my life where I'm happy. If I'm being honest, my only concerns are that my parents are getting older, my gma is too, and that adulthood has brought on a lot of stress for my best friend sister.

I choose to take advantage of the "free" part of being both jobfree and manfree and am lucky to be currently living a largely CAREfree life. Things of the past are just that. So I was pretty open about what I could learn from a psychic.

One of the first things I learned - oddly enough - was that I need to let go of the past. But we'll get to that. So I sit down. She tells me my faith is being tested. My mind quickens. My first thought is that she means by sitting down with her I am offending God. I then realize that maybe she means that my faith in HER was being tested. Which was much more the case. She's big into eye contact and once I meet her eyes a calmness comes over the whole thing and I don't say a word for like a whole 10 minutes. True story.

So she cuts some cards and I pick some stones out of a bag. One of the stones has the picture of a bracket-type thing, one is blank, and I forget the third one. The cards - in order - are "playfulness," "sharing," and "hanging on to the past."

I was obviously cool with the first two, but had really thought I had reached some closure regarding anything of substance from the past, so the last one threw me for a loop. But then she started talking about my "sacred womb" and I stopped thinking about anything but what she was saying.

So this sacred womb of mine...at the beginning she made it sound like I will eventually birth a gaggle of children...then she started talking about seeing the spirit of a child around me. A child just waiting to be born. (Akachawhat?) She followed that up with the fact that I'll be surprised with the "miracle" pregnancy. (Is not every pregnancy a miracle?)

She then started talking about my fairy godmother. Not biological but spiritual. She's my guardian angel and a symbol of my conscience. Ursula told me not to ignore my conscience. And went on to say whenever I haven't been able to find my keys, it's my fairy godmother telling me not to leave or go wherever I was going. When a call is dropped, it's her preventing me from saying whatever I was gonna say.

All I can assume at this point is that my fairy godmother is slightly behind in the times when I think drunk texting is appropriate.

She told me I was very spiritual. So spiritual that I should wear all white. Even white underwear. At this point I really wanted to protest because when wearing white you wear nude or light pink underwear. It's one of the few cases I break my matching rule. She told me I could also mix in some blue here and there. It should be said at the time of my reading I was wearing a charcoal grey shirt, black shirt, and - you guessed it - charcoal grey underthings. She told me I was a light for all around me...which reminded me of something one of my first bosses said. She told someone of our initial meeting for my interview that I was like a ray of sunshine coming into the office.

Ursula had me. Our eyes were locked and I was soaking it up. I wanted to hear everything. She told me I needed to write. (Keep in mind I said absolutely NOTHING to her, so she had no way of knowing that's what I do.) She told me I had to write about my experiences. Share them with people. (the sharing card, remember?) People needed to hear my stories. And I needed to get head shots because people will want them for this sharing thing I'm going to do.

At this point, I'm like what the heck do I need to share with people? I mean besides these blogs of random happenings or adventures? I wasn't kidnapped and held hostage for 18 years. I hope that isn't part of my future. She didn't mention anything about anything horrible like that happening...

I'll regress slightly to discuss the playfulness card, the description of which basically made me feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I'm enjoying life. I'm LIVING life. Her one suggestion here was that I spend an entire day quiet and in nature and then see what comes out when I finally speak. Whoa. Sounds awesome and challenging and now all I have to do is find a day to do it.

And now we come to the "hanging on to the past" card. Ursula keeps talking about an event. Thankfully nothing horrific has ever happened to me, so I translated it to be that out of all the little things said and heart hurts that have happened there must be something I haven't let entirely go. She talks about writing things out and freezing them or throwing them in the ocean (both closure tactics that have been recommended to me before). She said to find a method that works best and get it out and away. Which brought us to the first stone I had pulled out...The bracket. Today (which meant Sunday) was the first day of my life. Nothing before that can have any effect on my future. She said talking of those things give them a voice and allow them back in, so she said not to let a word of them leave my esophagus.

Just plain ole good advice.

She said to make decisions as if I were watching someone else. What advice would I give another person in that situation. She said to - for right now - decide and not do. I'm still decoding that one, but I think it has something to do with time and preparedness? Or again, permission to not do very much right now besides get in tune with myself.

So Ursula ends the session and I can't help it. I lean in and I'm like, um, so this sacred womb? What? A-isn't every womb sacred? B-are we talking immaculate conception? B part 2-am I going to carry the second coming? She basically launched into a safe sex talk wherein she told me to be v careful with whose seed (sic) I let enter my body and to use protection if I don't want that person to be my baby daddy. Because the kid is just waiting to be born. Whiskey. tango. foxtrot. I didn't ask her if it was a boy or a girl. I didn't ask who the baby daddy would be. I felt like I left with this weird Choose Your Own Adventure.

Following the reading, I went further into the square and sat down and started regurgitating everything she had said. Which is of course where I realized that she mentioned nothing about my love life. I wanted to go back right then. I mean, I guess there will be guys around if there is to be a baby daddy, but still. When? Who? And how the heck will I meet him?

So then my friend finished her reading. Which while equally spot on, was nothing like mine. (We compared just in case.)

As far as the validity of the reading and where I go from here...I don't find anything blasphemous in what I was told. Everything was good. I feel like I was basically told I'm on the right path, and to not freak out because eventually I'll have a kid with some sort of divine purpose. No big deal. I'm excited to see how it all pans out, but you know, in a total carefree way. That being said, I do wish I had a direct line to Ursula. I guess that just means I'll have to make more trips to the Big Apple. I can do that.