I Miss Paris and Other Thinks I Am Thinking

When I say miss Paris, I mean I've been looking at my pictures and remembering the good times and trying to figure out when I can go back and who I can beg to go with me. Because altho I love Paris, I love it BETTER when I'm not there alone.

Speaking of...(in a roundabout way)...as I am back on the hunt for what will be like my 7th Netflix address in Los Angeles, I've discovered something. My list for what I'm looking for in an apartment has grown to a length longer than my list of desires in a potential manfriend.

Apartment:

1. offstreet parking.
2. laundry (onsite if not in the unit)
3. hardwood floors (preferably dark)
4. upper floor (read as nobody living above me)
5. strongly prefer my own entrance to the outside. no more stinky hallways.
6. character
7. less than $1500 a month (yes I realize how disgusting this number is to anyone not living in LA or NYC)
8. I have a specific neighborhood in mind, a 2 mile radius that I will only go outside of in the case that I find THE ONE in one of my other 3 possible, but slightly less desirable neighborhoods.
9. gas stove
10. finally, I know it's superficial, but I really hate doors on a shower/tub combo.

The other thing is that in order for me to feel good about an apartment, I have to take some time with it and soak it up and (hopefully) get that "this is it!" feeling. If not immediately upon entry, definitely after sitting on the floor of the living room for a few minutes post walk through. Sometimes I have to bring a friend in for a second opinion or call my dad and describe everything in detail until he (or the friend) gives me the push I need to sign that little piece of paper. Leases...ugh. I mean, you have to be sure about these things. You're gonna LIVE there.

I can only imagine what it's going to be like when the special magical time arrives that I encounter my first house hunt. Like for a real house where a mortgage is involved. God bless that real estate agent in advance.

PS I know it sounds like I'm asking for a lot, but my last apartment had all of those things. Unfortunately it also had a lot of drafty windows and no heat. But it looked good.

So the list of qualities in a manfriend:

1. Make me laugh.
2. Be intellectually stimulating.
3. Be creative.
4. Love God.
5. Like kids.
6. Love me. In a way that would make it impossible for you to look me in the face and lie.

That about covers it. I could throw in things like "nice smile," "good arms," and "preferably able to play more than one musical instrument," and that would still not be as many things as I'm looking for in an apartment.

Now if only I could find an online service that somehow combines searching for available men and vacant apartments, I'd be set. Well I mean besides craigslist...

Open Letter to Alberto S.

Hey Alberto.
It's me.

The real person behind the number you've been giving to all your creditors.
It seems you've really got yourself into a financial pickle.
The people from Kentucky call at least twice a day.
New Jersey also sends its love, as does Ohio and a couple other places.
I mean how many different debt sources can one person have?

Seriously.
I'm glad it's just my phone number and not my entire identity.
I truly am.
But all the calls are getting old.
And when I tell them I don't know you, I can hear the doubt in their voice.
Like they think I'm hiding you or something.

I think it's time you take responsibility for your life. And your finances.
Grow up already.
And get your own phone number.

Thanks.

Sincerely,
MAB

2010 is the Year of The Tiger

This blog is not a tiger.

I mentally wrote a blog about how awesome vacations are. Those of you with mind reading capabilities know how awesome that blog is.

You know what law I love? The one in Oregon that prevents me from pumping my own gas. Yeah it's lazy, but you know what? It's also AMAZING.

Skiing is hard. So hard that we decided it doesn't make sense that rich people enjoy doing it so much. All of the prep and rentals and dressing and getting those ski boots on and off. I mean, I felt like I was birthing a child. Then you throw a slick mountain edged with trees into the mix? If I was rich, I would pay someone to ski and describe it in detail while holding a fan in my face so I could get the sensation. Then I would push that person down and say "Wait til your calves wake up tomorrow" as I walked away carefully sipping my piping hot (but not scalding) vanilla chai.

I mean, I can't wait to do it again.
In all honesty, I wish I could just be awesome at it already.
When at the beginning of the class I picked up random skills quickly, I told my ski instructor that Picabo Street was my sister. Unfortunately it was quickly exposed that my real sisters don't have the athletic ability of a Picabo pinkie. Well, Melody did some hurdles in high school, but that does not a Jackie Joyner Kersee make. It's like my entire immediate family was absent the day God was handing out any talent related to sports. And Matthew, winning wrestling matches by forfeiture because other schools didn't have someone small enough in the featherweight category does not count.

As a Katy Perry fan, I have a problem waking up to her doing Proactive commercials. Avril Lavigne, Jessica Simpson and Kelly Clarkson do Proactive commercials. I feel like KP is totes on another level. I simultaneously feel like if KP is using it, then I should too, because, I mean, look at her. My disappointment in her commercial choice dissipated a lil bit when KBM informed me stars get a million dollars to do it, and even Diddy's done it. Somehow that made it better.

I feel like I should check in with her twitter now. I've been so disconnected. Ok, she seems to be fine. And Taylor Swift is really enjoying Japan.

I just remembered something else to say here but now I forgot. I just looked at flights to Paris next week. Because a - it's Paris. And b - Swell Season is performing. But while I'm spontaneous, I like to think I err on the side of caution when it comes to complete financial irresponsibility, so I'm gonna hold off...

Having said that, I'm thinking about biting the (in this case v yummy) bullet and really spending some cash on a bed. I got rid of my hand me down version, which means on that day sometime soon when I open the pod, there won't be a bed in there. I've joked about wanting a Four Seasons mattress instead of an engagement ring, but now a part of me is v tempted at not waiting for some dude to buy one for me. I want an awesome bed like everyone talks about: "oh I can't wait to get home to my own bed!" A bed like that requires commitment and permanence tho, not two of my strongest personality traits. So we shall see.

Until then, I'm living on borrowed ground and counting my blessings. My taxes are done (and I came out on top), I'm sort of employed, I'm gonna see Peter Gabriel live in concert with a 52 piece orchestra...it's a good time to be MAB. Laissez les bonnes temps roulez. (Tiger, I'm talking to you.)

Things I Like A Whole Lot Today

It's 2010.
Maybe I'll blog more this year.
I'm on Day 2 of no red meat or poultry. So far so good.
I also ran yesterday. Or jogged. Whatever it was, it wasn't fun.
Boot camp starts in a week. I hope the tops of my thighs have forgiven me by then.

So heregoes.
Happy things.

1. I got to see not one but TWO fun-loving couples I know while they were in town. Being off on a wkend has its perks!!

2. While waiting at the Bellagio valet, the old man next to me answered his Iphone. There's just something about an octogenarian on an Iphone that I found awesome.

3. Being outside without a jacket on - On January 2nd.

It's my goal to pop in here with positive thoughts and things every now and again.
Cross your fingers.

So that was Monday...

So a girl walks into a nail salon and asks for a wax.
Girl lays down and esthetician says "Oh wow."

Life without Eyebrows Julie is really tough guys. REALLY tough.

C'est Ma Vie

I returned a top today. I told the salesgirl I couldn't get it zipped up no matter how hard I tried. and I couldn't turn it to the front, zip it, and then slide the zipper to the back. (a method sometimes useful with back zippers.) After explaining my troubles (including the commentary that my chest is in no way too large to prevent a zippered top), the salesgirl looked at me and informed me the "top" was actually a highwaist skirt.

Mademoiselle Fashionista strikes again.

I Feel Like I Should Blog

Things I'm thinking about:

1. Camping!
2. Work. And how I'm not thinking about work. Because tomorrow is a new day.
3. Visitors!!
4. Frank Turner. I think I'm only creatively obsessed. His show quenched a need to hear great live music in a small intimate setting.
5. All the movies I wanna see.
6. How I'll cross An Education off that list tomorrow!
7. How long I will be back into updating this blog and twitter.
8. How much I enjoy the outdoors here and how that's the unexpected icing of this job.
9. Up in the Air. Sure this should be like a 5a or something, but boy does it look sexy!
10. My fam and how excited I am to see them in 12 days.

Two more things I just remembered to be excited about:

1. Friday Night Lights. So glad I'm finally on this bandwagon. It hasn't disappointed.
2. I have pre-ordered a fantastic bike that I won't get to see in person until January 11th. Good things come to those who wait, right?

Oh and also...I was watching the second ever episode of Ally MacBeal - because I never had before, and when you don't have a tivo you turn to free episodic television - and guess who I saw in the background as an uncredited extra? Jon Hamm. He's really turned things around since then, hasn't he? Speaking of Mad Men, I'm really proud of January Jones lately.

I leave you with this. Once upon a time I wrote an Itunes Playlist of sorts to post here on this blog that I have sadly ignored for far too long. (Sad for me, because I like a record of my life, obviously.) Anywho...

Of this particular selection I said:

"I feel like this song is inside me, and listening to it feels more familiar than anything else I know."

Dramatic? Sure. But I can't explain it any other way. Enjoy.